Search for Truth in Kindness, Not Conflict
If I, as a Christian, am going to debate someone who is a non-Christian, I want to be able to put my arm around that person’s shoulder and say, “We are looking for the truth together, and if you can show me where I’m wrong, I’ll take your side.” I’m not there to beat someone into submission. Jesus never worked that way. The only people he rapped on pretty hard were precisely the people who were positive they were right, when in fact they were totally blind to the truth.

Apologetics isn’t intellectual bullying, it isn’t belittling, and it isn’t a way of getting people saved without God’s grace. We work with the Holy Spirit in gentleness and reverence. We surrender our powers of reason to the Holy Spirit. We expect God to enhance those powers and use our words, under the teaching of the Holy Spirit, to relieve the burden of doubt from a troubled heart.

Doubt is a truly terrible thing. Some of us have been Christians for so long that we haven’t really struggled with it, but doubt is a terrible thing. To believe—to have what Peter refers to as faith that is “more precious than gold” (1 Pet. 1:7)—is a precious thing.
From The Allure of Gentleness: Defending the Faith in the Manner of Jesus